Hope 

Journey 

Guide

Frequently Asked Questions

What can I expect during the free telephone call?


When you call, text, or email me asking about the free one hour telephone call it will be helpful if you have several times in mind that it would suit you to talk.


    We will decide on a good time to talk for both of us. Usually we will be able to talk within several days. You will normally place the call.


    During this first hour I will ask a lot of questions; I want to hear your story.  We will decide together if the mentoring that I offer is a good fit for you.


    If you decide to sign up I will email you the information that you need to pay for the first month of mentoring and how to start using the coaching software that we use.

How can Arthur mentor me from a distance?


We use Zoom video conference technology https://zoom.us/


I can meet with you anywhere you have a good steady Internet signal and we can agree on a time to talk. You will need to have the agreed upon homework done each week.


If using the Internet is not an option, we can also talk on the phone if you are in a private place.

What is the cost of mentoring?


    Actually you are asking the wrong question, but I know what you mean!


    Think about it like this: How much would it be worth to you to be free from your Unwanted Sexual Behavior (USB)? How much would you be willing to invest in order to finally find freedom from shameful thoughts and actions?  What would it be worth to you to not have to cover up your secret life?


    What would you give in exchange for the gift of being able to look your wife, your girlfriend, and your brother in the church in the eye in full transparency and not have anything to hide?  What would it be worth to you?


    How valuable would it be to you if you your private life would match your public persona? What would you give to know that you truly do deserve the esteem and honor that are given to you by others, without feeling shame about harboring ugly secrets?  As you find sexual freedom you will enjoy an unprecedented intimacy with God and the ability to love and enjoy relationships at a level you’ve never experienced before.  What would that be worth to you?


    What you give if you could look at Satan’s sexual temptations and calmly be able to think clearly, ‘I know that I could do that, but the consequences are disastrous!  This moment of pleasure doesn’t begin to be adequate compensation for the shame and guilt that I would feel for a long time afterwards — and experiencing ruined relationships. NO THANKS!  I’m NOT interested!’  What would that be worth to you to be able to think clearly and make wise decisions instead of justifying the behavior that you already know you will engage in yet once again?


    Any monetary investment is minimal if you compare how your life could change for the better — for the rest of your life!  Imagine being able to pass on to your descendants the legacy of having fought this hardest battle you have ever fought — and won!  And best of all, this struggle is no longer a secret — you can even help those around you get free, too!


    In order to help you get free and stay free from unwanted sexual behavior I now only work three days a week at my day job in order to have time to help you get well.  If I were to try to do this kind of ministry without any cost to you I would have to go back to working full time and wouldn’t have time to be able to help you — or to learn how to help you…


    So… the small investment you will be making toward achieving this incredible freedom and victory for yourself through weekly hour long one-on-one mentoring with me will only be $300 per 4 weekly sessions.  We will set up a monthly reoccurring payment that you can stop at any time by contacting me if you aren’t totally satisfied with the results. 


    I also offer optional weekly hour-long group mentoring for $60 a month where along with me (as group leader and facilitator) you will get to video chat (or call in to be a part of the audio part of the discussion) with other men who are walking this same journey to freedom as you are. 


    As you get to know each other in this safe, confidential environment my goal is that you will be able to provide each other an additional support system outside of these meetings and form a cheerleading team of your own through the accountability and comradery this will provide for you.


    However, depending on how stuck you are, how long you have been struggling, and the level of crisis in your environment you will want to choose the one-on-one mentoring where we can go deeper faster and I can help you design your own personalized plan to stop the unwanted sexual behavior that plague you.

What is the cost of mentoring?


    Actually, you are asking the wrong question, but I know what you mean!


    Think about it like this: How much would it be worth to you to be free from your Unwanted Sexual Behavior (USB)? How much would you be willing to invest in order to finally find freedom from shameful thoughts and actions?  What would it be worth to you to not have to cover up your secret life?


    What would you give in exchange for the gift of being able to look your wife, your girlfriend, and your brother in the church in the eye in full transparency and not have anything to hide?  What would it be worth to you?


    How valuable would it be to you if you your private life would match your public persona? What would you give to know that you truly do deserve the esteem and honor that are given to you by others, without feeling shame about harboring ugly secrets?  As you find sexual freedom you will enjoy an unprecedented intimacy with God and the ability to love and enjoy relationships at a level you’ve never experienced before.  What would that be worth to you?


    What you give if you could look at Satan’s sexual temptations and calmly be able to think clearly, ‘I know that I could do that, but the consequences are disastrous!  This moment of pleasure doesn’t begin to be adequate compensation for the shame and guilt that I would feel for a long time afterwards — and experiencing ruined relationships. NO THANKS!  I’m NOT interested!’  What would that be worth to you to be able to think clearly and make wise decisions instead of justifying the behavior that you already know you will engage in yet once again?


    Any monetary investment is minimal if you compare how your life could change for the better — for the rest of your life!  Imagine being able to pass on to your descendants the legacy of having fought this hardest battle you have ever fought — and won!  And best of all, this struggle is no longer a secret — you can even help those around you get free, too!


    In order to help you get free and stay free from unwanted sexual behavior I now only work three days a week at my day job in order to have time to help you get well.  If I were to try to do this kind of ministry without any cost to you I would have to go back to working full time and wouldn’t have time to be able to help you — or to learn how to help you…


    So… the small investment you will be making toward achieving this incredible freedom and victory for yourself through weekly hour long one-on-one mentoring with me will only be $300 per 4 weekly sessions.  We will set up a monthly reoccurring payment that you can stop at any time by contacting me if you aren’t totally satisfied with the results. 


    I also offer optional weekly hour-long group mentoring for $60 a month where along with me (as group leader and facilitator) you will get to video chat (or call in to be a part of the audio part of the discussion) with other men who are walking this same journey to freedom as you are. 


    As you get to know each other in this safe, confidential environment my goal is that you will be able to provide each other an additional support system outside of these meetings and form a cheerleading team of your own through the accountability and comradery this will provide for you.


    However, depending on how stuck you are, how long you have been struggling, and the level of crisis in your environment you will want to choose the one-on-one mentoring where we can go deeper faster and I can help you design your own personalized plan to stop the unwanted sexual behavior that plague you.

Do we Conservative Anabaptists need to wake up to the reality of significant numbers of our people struggling with unwanted sexual behavior?


    Yes, I believe so.

    I believe that us older men don’t understand the magnitude of this problem among our people. We blindly hope that it isn’t a big issue among us because it wasn’t as easy to access pornography when we were young. When we were young the only way to access pornography was to go to a drug store late at night and hope that no one that knew us would see what we were buying, right? And what could we buy? Only still photographs, right?


    Now it is possible from the privacy of our homes and behind closed doors or in an outdoor getaway with internet access to download onto mobile devices not only photographs, but graphic videos of every explicit sexual scene imaginable! How sad!


    Those of us who grew up before the days of the Internet (mid-1990s) and the advent of the smartphone (since 2007) don’t understand how pervasive these issues are among us. We hope that by not talking about it we can keep it from happening. Actually it would be much better to make talking about this unwanted sexual behavior a talk-able subject so that those who struggle will know that it is OK to look for help and that they won’t be rejected because of their struggle with pornography, masturbation, and more.


    The question is not “if” my son or daughter will be exposed to this content, but rather “when”. We must engage in helpful conversations so that our children will feel free to come to us when these exposures happen.


    Jeriah Mast and the CAM scandal exposed our religious pride, didn’t it? We have tended to think that ‘our people’ would never stoop to such degrading practices. But obviously we can — and when we blindly assume that it couldn’t happen among us we actually make it easier for sexual sin to happen and keep on happening!


    We need brave men who will enter this arena and courageously tell their stories so that younger men and teenagers will dare to look for and find help for themselves. May it be so!


    The statistics that are often quoted among Evangelical Christians is that at least 60% of Christian men surveyed struggle with unwanted sexual behavior at least monthly. Sadly that isn't much different from the statistics of unchurched men.  See extensive 2016 report from the Barna Group: https://www.barna.com/the-porn-phenomenon/


    I don’t know of any reliable statistics of the level of entrapment in unwanted sexual behavior for Conservative Anabaptists. I don’t dare hope that Conservative Anabaptist statistics are significantly lower than that of evangelical Christians. But for the sake of argument, what if our Conservative Anabaptist statistics were just one third of the currently accepted statistic of Christians who struggle with unwanted sexual behavior? That would still be 20% — wouldn’t it? That would mean that at least 2 out of 10 brothers in my church could easily be struggling with this “eternal destiny issue”!


    We can’t “look the other way”, pretend that unwanted sexual behavior is not much of an issue among us, can we? Can we hope that it “goes away” by ignoring it?


    What about these brothers among us who are already trapped? What about the people who are even now becoming trapped because they don’t know how to stop the addiction that is so quickly happening to them? Shouldn’t we reach out to them? Shouldn’t we do everything we can to make it easy for “these little ones” (Matthew 18:6) to come forward and find help without us adding more shame? I certainly don’t want to be guilty of ‘causing these little ones to sin’ through my lack of courage to face and talk about these uncomfortable situations, do you?

Is there an anonymous online test that I could take to see if I have a significant issue?  

Yes. I have reproduced a 45 question online Sexual Addiction Screening Test here that gives an immediate anonymous test score so that you can evaluate your personal situation.  More than 6 yes answers indicates that you may very well need someone else's help to get free...

Can't I just pray and ask God to heal me? Can't He just take away my sinful desires?


    Yes, He certainly can! Most of us have heard a story or two of someone being instantly freed from an addiction the moment that they became a Christian or rededicated their lives to the Lord. However, for most of us there is an intense battle. I don’t know why, but let me share my perspective.


    Think of it this way. God has clearly chosen to give us the right to choose, hasn’t He? It is very important to Him. Look at the Garden of Eden. If He had wanted to keep us safe he could have blocked the serpent from entering the garden. He could have even avoided making the ‘don’t eat from this tree’ rule. But God didn’t!


    He wanted us to learn to trust Him and obey Him while having the option of doing other things that apparently seem legitimate so that trust in God and obedience to Him would truly be voluntary! If we could see past all of our enemy’s lies; if we could see the horrible consequences that come with following his cues, nobody would obey him, right?


    Another good gift that God gave us is that our choices have consequences. How sad it would be if anything we did wouldn’t change anything. I think one of the most precious gifts that God gives us is that we have the opportunity to make a difference in the world around us. When I am on my deathbed I want to be able to look back and know that I am leaving the world a better place because of the life that I lived and the people that I influenced.


    If we have made sinful choices; if we chose to give in to sinful sexual behaviors for a year or two — or a decade or two, there are consequences for those choices aren't there? Of course. These consequences are internal and external.


    The internal consequences is that these thought and choices become automatic over time — so automatic we don’t even think about what we are doing until after it is all over. And they do serve a ‘sick’ purpose of avoiding painful thoughts and feelings — just like the man who finds comfort in drinking.


    It takes time to slow down those automatic choices, understand why we made those choices in the first place, and ask God to show us His Truth that can genuinely free us from the power and control of the lie that empowers our enemy’s temptations.


    The external consequences of our unwanted sexual behavior can be serious. Our marriage, our family, our job — all these and more can be affected. But the good news is that God shows us the way forward and we can come clean from the past. We can have a different and better legacy!


    Second Peter 1:3 and 4a says, “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises…” This powerful truth should comfort us wherever we find ourselves! God’s divine power has given us (present tense) everything that I need to live a life of of godliness! I will never sink so low, I will never be so messed up, I will never be beyond hope of God’s redemption! I can always latch onto the promise that “God has given me everything that I need to live a godly life”!


    The holy desperation that we feel, the sense of complete dependence on God, the knowing that we can’t change by ourselves — these are all gifts from God! We will understand grace and our need for His grace in a new and better way… We will be able to extend that to others.


    The day will come when we can openly tell our story. We will be able to give others hope — a real hope, not the ‘pray this prayer and everything will be different immediately’ fantasy.

My unwanted sexual behavior doesn’t really cost my anything, does it?


    Perhaps you are thinking: “My ongoing relationship with porn and masturbation isn't a big deal, is it? It doesn't affect anyone else and I'm not paying for the porn that I watch...”


    Wait a minute! How much time are you spending with those behaviors each month? What if you didn't give your energy to these sinful sexual behaviors? What if instead you invested it in reading good books, learning life skills, or cultivating a creative hobby?


    Probably the biggest “cost” of our sinful sexual behaviors is the damage that it does to our relationships – with God, with our spouse, with our family, and friends. You can't really love God with your whole heart if you have this secret sin that you engage in. And men, let's be honest – if we are cultivating lustful thoughts we CAN'T love our spouse! God made us to be one-person focused in the intimate relationship of marriage. We can't be fully committed to our spouse and the pixels on a tablet screen!


    Jesus told us in Matthew 5:27-30 that if we “have lustful intent” (ESV) or look on a woman “to lust after her” (KJV) that we have already sinned in our heart! Even though we haven't actually done the action (probably because we fear being caught!) there has been an internal agreement that 'I would like that'. I remember hearing a well known pastor ask one time – “If I did what I am thinking about, would it be sin? If the answer is, “Yes”, then it is also sin just to think about it!”


    Jesus did not prohibit lustful thoughts and actions because he wanted to rob us of something pleasant, helpful, and productive! He knows, and haven't we all seen what giving in to sexual sins does to our lives – even if the person has not yet acted out what he is thinking? It destroys and saps potential from us. We have an enemy that wants to lure us into this trap and destroy our lives and relationships!


    I say it this way, “Show me a man who has energy for life, enjoys his relationships with others, loves God, has plans for his future and what he wants to accomplish, etc. and I will show you a man who is an overcomer in the sexual arena.


    “On the other hand, I say, show me a man who is tired, struggles in his relationships with others, his relationship with God is a chore, isn't sure where he is going with his life and has no real plans for the future, and who doesn't know what he wants to do with his life, and I will show you a man who is struggling with sexual temptations.”


    I am usually right...  Why?  Because sexual sin drains our energy, puts us in a fog and disconnects the clear thinking part of our brain!

HopeJourneyGuide@gmail.com

620-727-0353

1414 E. 9th Ave. 

Hutchinson, KS 67501-2707

Hope

Journey

Guide

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Mentoring Plans I Offer

1-1 Mentoring

Group Mentoring

Also using Zoom technology or telephone calls we offer quality 1-on-1 mentoring for one hour each week from the convenience of your home or workplace.  After our intial free telephone conversation I will map out our journey of learning and growing together starting with the most important steps and information first.  This personalized mentoring gets your recovery off to a jump start.  

Monthly Investment: $200

We use Zoom technology to bring together likeminded men who are looking for a community to grow with.   This is a weekly one-hour meeting.  Check with us to get on the waiting list for when the next group opens up that fits your schedule.  

Monthly Investment: $40

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About

HopeJourneyGuide@gmail.com

620-727-0353

1414 E. 9th Ave. 

Hutchinson, KS 67501-2707

Hope

Journey

Guide