How I Can Help
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Hi, I’m Arthur Nisly.
Thanks for visiting my website! Just a little bit about me: I was honored to have the privilege of serving the people in El Salvador for over 30 years as a missionary. I am passionate about helping people find freedom and reach their full potential.
If you are struggling with unwanted sexual behavior — I really care. My prayer is that this website will be a safe place for you to gather information so that you can decide whether you will keep trying to change by yourself — and failing, or whether you will let me walk with you on this road to recovery and sexual freedom. I know opening your heart to talk about secrets you have kept hidden for a long time is terribly scary. I don’t take that lightly.
I offer to walk with you. In talking with me, my utmost priority is to create a safe environment to talk about your struggles with masturbation, pornography, sexual fantasies, and more. I promise confidentiality. I promise you a Biblical Conservative Anabaptist perspective on these subjects.
There is no question — when we do unwanted sexual behavior we are in a fog. We can’t think clearly. We almost become a different person. After we act out we shake our heads and wonder what happened. We ask ourselves, “How could I do that — again?”
How could we have gone from a strong commitment to be faithful to our God, to our spouse, and to our family; ‘this time’, we really mean it — and then not being able to follow through with our heart-felt resolutions? This kind of excruciating, intimate moral failure destroys all the self-confidence that we had and brings with it overwhelming shame and guilt.
I am especially pleading with you if you are still trying to keep your unwanted sexual behavior a secret. In recovery we say, “You are only as sick your secrets!” Even if you are a respected man in your community and don’t dare talk to anyone that already knows you, I want to help you by offering you a private way to get started. I recommend we start with weekly long-distance one-on-one mentoring. If you are serious; if you are ‘all in’ I am certain I can guide you on the road to wholeness and healing.
With time I hope you may eventually want to join an online support group that I facilitate where we could meet every week with other men who have similar stories to your own. For an hour we would discuss the lesson assigned for that day, tell the rest of the group how our week went, and encourage each other. This is another big step forward. It is incredibly powerful to be in a group where each one tells his story. To experience being fully loved by others even though they know all of our deep, dark secrets — that is a life changing step forward! For you to heal you will want to get to the place where you make regular telephone calls to other men who are like minded and on this same journey that you are. This ‘coming out of hiding’ is an important part of the journey, but I will walk with you — and at your own pace.
Yes, the time will come when you are at a better place. You will long for the additional freedom that comes from not having to hide these secrets from those who are closest to you. I’ll walk through that with you, too. You won’t be alone — and best of all Jesus will become an even more intimate friend! You will discover inner strength that you didn’t know you had. And you will enjoy the freedom that comes from not having secrets!
There may be consequences when you tell those who are closest to you; when your church hears it straight from you — things may need to change. But what is most important — isn’t becoming a man of integrity what you really want? Only after full disclosure can relationships be rebuilt on a solid foundation of honesty and integrity at a much deeper level.
My prayer, dear friend, is that you can take the initiative to move toward real and lasting freedom before you get found out. I pray that you will experience that holy desperation before being discovered. I pray that being serious about coming clean will happen at your initiative.
But honestly, most men stay trapped until they are discovered. Sadly, almost always our unwanted sexual behaviors escalate to the point that we find ourselves doing things we never dreamed that we would do. The damage and consequences get worse until we get found out… If that is your experience — I’m here for you! I have seen many men get up from their lowest point, make the much needed foundational changes and with time begin to experience a completely different lifestyle. I know that God has given me the ability to believe that you can experience radical transformation long before you are able to believe it for yourself! I pray that at the beginning you will be able to hang onto my hope, even when you feel hopeless!
On the other hand, if you know a friend who is struggling and you are looking for help for them — welcome! My desire is that in conversation with them you will be able give them my business card or point them to this website. I hope you look around here and especially read through the Frequently Asked Questions. It will give you an idea of what I offer and my perspective on what real, lasting solutions look like.
For more than 30 years I was a missionary building a church — mostly for first generation Christians. During those years making complex ideas simple, understandable, and practical became my passion.
I pray that through the resources on this website and through conversations with me that you will begin to understand things about yourself that you don’t yet know how to verbalize. It will change your life to discover the reasons why you keep doing what you don’t actually want to do and be able to stop. You will be able to integrate your Christian faith and implement practical tools to experience explosive growth in your Christian life by implementing God’s truths that up until now have been mostly theoretical.
This is my passion! I have seen the exciting change that men undergo when they go from being controlled by their sexual lusts to finding victory and freedom in this area. The transformation is phenomenal!
If you trust me and give me the honor of being your guide, I would love to help you also achieve the victory that I’ve already seen others enjoy!
I know that your choices will have a ripple effect of positive change on those around you. Your family and those closest to you will benefit from your right choices now. Don’t you want to look back at the end of your life with delight knowing that your godly legacy will live on?
If you are a woman who struggles with these same issues or if you are a betrayed wife or family member of someone who is currently struggling — I really care! Working with women is not what I do, but I have compiled resources of books to read and Christian women who work with you. I will gladly send that information to you by email if you contact me.
Look around the website. If I can be of help to you, I am only a text, call, or e-mail away!
1414 E. 9th Ave.
Hutchinson, KS 67501-2707
Mentoring Plans I Offer