A message from your prospective Mentor...
Ideas I talked about:
1:17 My Story3:42 How has our world changed?9:18 I have a high standard of holiness.10:11 Typical Accountability described.11:08 Pornography and Masturbation causes us to avoid religious activity.13:56 What is permissible loss in the church?16:20 What is the implied message of silence about sexual issues in our church?18:30 We should assign and authorize gifted men to learn how to help people!22:15 What should we be communicating?24:10 Jesus is our model for the way to relate to people who are struggling.27:05 “I have a Dream...”29:15 Final Prayer
On April 7, 2021 I was give the opportunity to speak to the Beachy Amish Mennonite Ministers at their annual meeting. This excerpt is of the last 30 minutes where I talked about sexual sin and proposed a way to make it safe for people to get help.
Hi, my name is Arthur Nisly. I am 62 years old (now in 2019).
I grew up in the Hutchinson, KS area. As a teenager I became a member in the Center Amish Mennonite Church. In 1983 I married my childhood sweetheart – Lil Miller, also from this same area.
Not quite two years later in 1985 we moved to El Salvador where we spent the next 30 years as missionaries under the Amish Mennonite Aid mission board. I served as a missionary pastor, did pastoral counseling with Lil, and was the mission board's country representative. We helped with the oversight of a medical clinic and a children’s home. Those were good times and we thought we would retire there, but in 2016 we needed to move back to KS due to my wife's health.
After returning to Kansas I took very seriously an almost audible call I believe to clearly have been from God in 2017, “I want you to learn how to help people get free from addiction.” I immediately understood that to mean, 'I want you to learn how to help conservative Anabaptists walk in sexual freedom.'
I began to listen to hundreds of hours of interviews, podcasts, and presentations on this and related subjects since then while I was driving at work. I have accepted the challenge of learning from the best Christian counselors who work in the field of sexual addiction. As I am able I read books on the subject. I try to make complex concepts as simple as possible so that everyone can take advantage of the best ways to recover from unwanted sexual behavior. My goal is to make it possible for Conservative Anabaptists who don’t have the time to research and learn can still confidently start their healing journey at a good place.
To gain experience I have been leading a local support group for 2 ½ years where anyone who wants to find freedom from unwanted sexual behaviors is welcome to attend. Over time that group grew from 4 to almost 10 group members. Late this spring (2019) at my church after leading 5 weekly meetings on the subject of unwanted sexual behaviors (using the Conquer Series as the primary teaching material) 3 additional support groups were started.
If you and I get a chance to talk I will gladly share with you about my journey to sexual freedom. My struggle with sexual addiction has not been as significant as it has been for some people. I am glad that I grew up before the days of the Internet and smartphones. I use both and I do believe that this technology can be redeemed. I pray that there will be a wave of godly men who accept that challenge.
Just recently I had the privilege of preaching the second wedding message in 10 months for two young men who are now walking in freedom! What a delight to see the different look out of their eyes! They love God and they are free from the power and control that their sexual struggle had on them! They walk with a confident step! Those of us who know them agree with them that they would not yet be married to these fine, godly women if they were still stuck in their sexual bondage.
In the spring of 2019 I started the training to become certified as a Sexual Integrity Mentor and I am about ⅔ of the way to completing my Certification as a Sexual Integrity Mentor. This is an extensive 80+ hours of training that covers every aspect of this ministry. I am building on what my trainer learned during more than 5 years of experience mentoring men one-on-one and mentoring groups.
As a result of this training I am using fine coaching software to facilitate clients having a very positive experience complete with interactive online worksheets that I create. Since July 2019 I am mentoring my first long-distance paying client. I am currently taking mentoring appointments at a reduced rate until I finished this last step in the training.
After that first encounter with him I told my wife, “This is what I want to do with the rest of my life!” Both he and I love this relationship. I know that it has been helpful for him. We have seen God work in powerful ways to bring freedom and healing. And if you are currently struggling — there is hope for you, too! Read his testimony here.
1414 E. 9th Ave.
Hutchinson, KS 67501-2707
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