What Is “Unwanted Sexual Behavior”?
I have chosen to use the phrase Unwanted Sexual Behaviors (USB) in my writing. It is borrowed from Jay Stringer’s Book Unwanted. I am not trying to avoid the word ‘sin’ or downplay it’s serious moral consequences. I just want us to have a common vocabulary to understand each other.
By USB I am referring to:
Savoring lustful thoughts (more about this in a moment)
Masturbation
Viewing pornography
Acting out with others what one has been fantasizing about. Sadly, viewing pornography has ushered many men out of the arena of thoughts into actions with other people! These are men who were confident they would never cross that threshold — yet then they did!
Now clarifying about lustful thoughts, it is true that we can’t avoid thoughts coming to us, but we can, by the power of God, reject and refuse to entertain those thoughts.
Jesus, in Matthew 5:27-28 clarifies God’s original intent in this matter. In the Old Testament the written law could only address external actions. However, in the New Testament Jesus clarified that at the point that someone looks on a woman lustfully (the ESV uses the phrase “with lustful intent”), in God’s eyes that person has already committed adultery in his heart.
When we have made the agreement in our hearts that “That would be nice,” we have already sinned in God’s eyes!
I once heard a man ask this clarifying question: “If you did what you are thinking about would it be sin?” If the answer is, “Yes” — then even thinking about it is sin!
So… USBs are sin.
They damage us and the people around us.
But there is forgiveness! And we aren’t helpless victims; we can change by God’s power!
The HopeJourneyGuide ministry is founded on the deep conviction that there is hope for freedom and victory. I believe that men who are trapped in sexual sin can change and get free!