Hope
Journey
Guide
Experience Authentic & Lasting Freedom from Unwanted
Sexual Behavior
Sexual Dysfunction ruins lives...
- An 18 year-old discovered pornography as a 10 year-old. From that very first exposure to porn he felt gripped by an insatiable curiosity that pulls him to places that he never thought he would go...
- A 30 year-old thought that marriage would take care of his out-of-control sexual impulses. But marriage hasn't fixed anything! Now he is afraid that his wife will discover his struggle with porn -- or worse still he fears that he may wreck his marriage, his family, and his reputation all in a single day!
- He is in his 50s or 60s and his life is starting to fall apart. Up until recently his fear of getting caught kept him from acting on his hidden sexual fantasies. But now with easy anonymous access to pornography on his smartphone he has crossed barriers he was sure he would never cross...
- He is a respected leader in his community or church. He feels condemned by his 'binge-purge' cycle with pornography and masturbation -- and he feels helpless to stop. He is disgusted with himself and he has no idea what to do...
- Each of these men know that they are fighting a losing battle with sexual compulsions. They know they are more out-of-control with each passing year. Who knows where they will end up?
- It makes so that he can't truly love those closest to him. Sexual sin is inherantly selfish. We are not able to have divided primary loyalties!
- It hijack time and energy for life, personal growth and development. All that time and money wasted on fantasies sidetrack him from the really important things God is calling him to do.
- It blocks freedom in relationships. He feels like a hypocrite. He knows 'the real me' doesn't match his public appearance. He can't look people in the eye; he thinks, 'If they knew what I do when no one is looking...' Increasingly he isolates himself from others to safeguard the image of himself he projects...
- He can't stop by himself. He has promised God and himself that this will be the last time that he looks at pornography and masturbate -- for the 1,000th time! The on-going experience of 'I can't stop acting out' destroys his self-confidence in many other areas of life. He almost gives up hope of ever being free again. Nothing he tried has worked so far.
Sexual sin destroys human potential!
On April 7, 2021 I was given the opportunity to speak to the Beachy Amish Mennonite Ministers at their annual meeting. This excerpt is from the last 30 minutes where I talked about sexual sin and proposed a way to make it safe for people to get help.
I speak with church leaders
and you get to listen in...
Experience a safe, suppportive and confidential environment filled with grace! We will give you the tools and help you embrace and act on the truths that you need to be able to walk in freedom!
Enjoy the freedom you fought for!
Experience life the way God intended it!
Leave a meaningful legacy with no regrets at the end of your life!
Choose the mentoring plan that best fits you. I offer both 1-on-1 mentoring and group mentoring. Nearly all the mentoring that I do happens over the phone or through video chat. Technology gives you the option of being in a group with other like-minded men who are serious about their recovery, too. Together we'll find the plan that best fit you and your needs.
The first step is always the most difficult, isn't it? In a 30-minute discovery call, we talk about as little or as much as you'd like. I'll tell you about the framework I use to help men find lasting freedom, and we'll see if we're a good fit.
Are you ready to try smarter,
not just harder?
3. Begin the Walk toward Freedom and Healing!
2. Choose mentoring plan that best fits your needs
1. Schedule free discovery call
What I have found along the way is that true sexual wholeness and freedom is NOT just a one-time intellectual mastery and understanding of certain basic concepts.
It is rather an acting on basic truths again and again in the context of relationships with brothers who know all about me and still love me! This is one of the reasons that we rarely are able to get well on our own.
We won't make much progress toward sexual freedom until we are truly broken, quit pretending, and come to God in genuine repentance. We need to be willing to be guided by another person that knows the way out of this bondage.
If we mess up in a stressful situation, we ask God for forgiveness, and together seek to understand about what happened and why. We 'close the doors' to temptation in order to stay safe. We have a 'willing to do whatever it takes' attitude to become free. If we have this kind of commitment we will make significant progress.
Many of us need the accountability aspect of having someone regularly ask us the hard questions about how our week went and to help us unravel the mystery of why we went to porn and masturbation again or why we were so triggered in the first place. There is always a reason. But we have to be committed to complete honesty. In recovery we say, 'You are only as sick as your secrets!' Having a mentor who lovingly believes in us and who can see our progress we are making even before we can is so helpful.
A very important part of our healing is to also help other men who are several steps behind us in their healing journey.
THIS is the way forward...
Arthur Nisly
Want to know more about My Story and why I am eager to work with you? Click here.
1. Complete Confidentiality
I offer:
I guide motivated guys who want sexual freedom.
- I am incredibly passionate about helping you reach your goal of living free from unwanted sexual behaviors and experiencing a full and satisfying life without regrets.
- During more than two decades of of pastoral counseling I listened to and helped men find freedom from the control of sexual sin. As a result of those experiences I have a profound confidence that God can restore what has been lost and broken through our wrong choices when we are truly broken and will to humble ourselves and trust others to guide us.
- Since 2017 I have been leading local Sexual Integrity groups.
- Also since 2017, in response to a deep sense of personal call from the Lord I have invested hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars in learning from some of the best and most experienced faith-based counselors and mentors in the area of sexual addiction recovery.
- It is true that I do not personally have a long history of struggling with sexual sin. However, I struggle with an eating compulsion that has many of the same dynamics – compulsions that I do not yet fully understand 'kick into gear' before I am consciously aware of what is happening. I have needed to slow down what is happening and my intuitive responses. I also need to unlearn the way I intuitively cope with pain or feel pleasure.
- In 2019 I moderated a 5-part video series in my local church to make talking about pornography and other forms of sexual sin a talk-able subject. There are now 5 groups functioning almost weekly with ministerial support as a result of these meetings.
- Since 2019 I have been doing long-distance mentoring with men who are serious about walking in freedom.
I can help you reach your goals:
Ready to begin your Recovery?
You will be GLAD you did!
THIS is what Sexual Freedom looks like:
Is this what you want?
Are you willing to work hard for it?
- An alive relationship with God that is free from guilt and shame
- A satisfying relationship with your spouse (or preparing for a future spouse!)
- Renewed Confidence in Relationships with others because now you have nothing to hide!
- Able to face difficult circumstances with confidence because you are winning this most difficult victory of gaining sexual purity.
- Leaving a Legacy and good example for your family and other people influenced by you.
- 'Giving it forward' by helping other men to freedom, too!
- You know what sexual sin (either in thought or action) does to our relationship with God -- the guilt, the shame, the troubled conscience, the lack of peace with God
- Choosing the 'feel good now' path -- the way that feels easiest right now without any thought of future consequences destroys your ability to do the hard, right things that God created you for!
- This procrastination mindset, 'pushing off getting into recovery until later' mindset increases the probability of being found out rather than proactively finding help first. There is always more grace given when we voluntarily ask for help...
- The extent of our sexual struggles almost always gets worse until we are discovered. Our enemy is a liar when he suggests that giving in to sin provides relief from temptation. The inner torment only gets worse.
- Additionally almost always the struggler finds himself doing things he never thought he would. Why? Because, like the substance abuser, what used to give pleasure no longer has the same numbing effect. The type of activity and content that we view tends to become more explicit and more degrading with the passing of time.
- Not being able to stop acting out sexually makes you feel like a wimp and robs you of your self-confidence in other areas of life, too. More and more you withdraw and become a loner. You feel like a hypocrite. You can't look people in the eye.
- Your spouse and family will suffer incredibly much. Studies show that your family won't feel that much less pain and betrayal-trauma consequences of you watching pornography as compared to you being in an adulterous relationship! Both hurt the family members you love a LOT!
The High Cost of Staying Stuck:
Begin Your Healing Journey Now! Do it — for YOUR future!
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- Give hope to those who are struggling with USB by demonstrating that men who have struggled with USB can consistently walk in genuine freedom
- Raise the awareness of the prevalence of Unwanted Sexual Behaviors (USB) among Conservative Anabaptists (CA) so that those who struggle can get help
- Model appropriate, redemptive responses by the Church to those who struggle with USB
- Guide / Accompany men who struggle with USB toward genuine freedom
Hope Journey Guide exists to:
HopeJourneyGuide@gmail.com
620-727-0353
1414 E. 9th Ave.
Hutchinson, KS 67501-2707
Hope
Journey
Guide
This needs to be greatly reduced!
There needs to be a combination of:
• Regular Accountability and following through with practical steps of action to stop acting out.
• Consistently cultivating spiritual and recovery disciplines
• Repentance and deep sadness about my wrong choices and their consequences
• Humility and recognize that I can't get well by myself. I need others to walk with me.
• Scripture teaching, memorization, and by faith acting on these truths
• Open and honest relationships where we are deeply loved and fully known (no secrets)
• Exploring past traumatic events and inviting God to heal those memories with His Perspective
• Becoming self-aware – Discovering what emotions / beliefs / situations make me vulnerable to sexual sin
• Helping others get free who are several steps behind me
Salvador. My constant desire and motivation was to take complex truths from the Scriptures and make them understandable, practical and memorable.
I believe that this experience of distinguishing between what is theoretical and what is practical; between what is optional and what is essential is so useful now. I sift through all that I am learning and distill the most important principles and practical action steps to become free from sexual addiction. I want to be your resource person so that you don't have to read all the books and listen to all the faith-based talks on sexual addiction recovery. I want to walk with you and help you personalize the most helpful concepts. I will walk with you and show you where to start. I offer to be your guide.
I am incredibly passionate about helping you reach your goal of living free from unwanted sexual behaviors and experiencing a full and satisfying life without regrets.
I'm promise I won't be turned off by your dark secrets. During those more than two decades of of pastoral counseling I listened to and helped men find freedom from the control of sexual sin. As a result of those experiences I have a profound confidence that God can restore what has been lost and broken through our wrong choices when we are truly broken and will to humble ourselves and trust others to guide us.
It is true that I do not personally have a long history of wallowing in sexual sin. However, I have struggled with an eating compulsion that has many of the same dynamics – compulsions that you don't understood 'kick into gear' before you consciously think about it until you learn to slow things down and process the situations where you intuitively learned to look the other way and avoid pain through these sinful solutions.
Since 2017 I have been leading a local support group for men who struggle with sexual compulsivity. Last year (2019), with local ministerial support I led out as moderator of a 5-part video series focused on making sexual sin a talk-able subject. As a result there are now 5 groups organized and most are having almost weekly meetings.
Since July 2019 I have been mentoring men long-distance one hour a week for a fee. They want to be guided and recognize the need to be accountable to another person who can confidently show them the way to freedom.
Lord willing, this year (2020) I should be able to complete the Sexual Integrity Mentor Certification training that I have almost completed.
I would love to learn to know you, show you the way, and walk with you in this journey toward sexual freedom and wholeness.
Let me tell you my story to help you decide if working with me is a good fit...
In June 2017 in an almost audible voice I heard God calling me, “Arthur, I want you to learn how to help people trapped in addictions.'
In response to that call I have invested hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars learning from some of the best and most experienced faith-based counselors and mentors in the area of sexual addiction recovery. I have invested many more hours organizing the good content I absorb and working at making it into a cohesive unit.
Prior to this I invested 30 years of my life as a missionary pastor with a first generation church in San Salvador, El
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HopeJourneyGuide@gmail.com
620-727-0353
1414 E. 9th Ave.
Hutchinson, KS 67501-2707
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